Talking with Children about Diversity Issues
(when you may feel most uncomfortable)

Children are wonderful! They are funny, creative, inquisitive, energetic, expressive and bold. This combination can sometimes present uncomfortable moments for the adults in their lives. Sometimes this combination leads to children asking or making gestures in ways that adults think are inappropriate, particularly if the adults are also uncomfortable with the subject matter.

Don’t assume that the statement isn’t coming from an experiential basis.
All children are receiving daily messages about cultural similarities and differences. They receive them from family members in both verbal and non-verbal forms, the media including cartoons, books, music, video games, children’s rhymes and from people who they don’t know but observe regularly. Often the most powerful messages that are taught about culture are the things that we don’t talk about or aren’t seen.

Talk to your child about the similarities and differences between themselves and others.
Be sure that your child knows that it is OK to ask questions about differences. Help them balance the differences with similarities that they may share with others. Do not say "...but we are really all the same" as this minimizes the difference and continues setting up a foundation of "good" versus "bad".

Educate yourself and model openness to learning about cultural assumptions and characteristics.
The most effective way to teach is to model behavior. If your child sees you being inquisitive and interested in other cultures, then they begin to see this as a "natural" part of what adults do. This means that adults must become comfortable with exploring new ideas and learning small amounts or basic information about a variety of cultural issues. A relatively easy way for adults and children to work on this together is to use toys from other cultures and read stories that are from other countries.

Pay attention to your own conscious and unconscious stereotypes and behaviors.
We all hold attitudes and beliefs that have been past down in our families, held up by our society and are generally accepted by our country of origin. However, some of those attitudes and beliefs may not be accurate or consistent with facts. For example, it has been well documented that a high percentage of people will have an increased heart rate, higher pulse, perhaps begin perspiring, dart their eyes and/or walk faster when approached by someone who they perceive as "different" than themselves. This can translate into subtle, non-verbal communication that your child learns early.

Expose your child to cultural traditions as part of their typical experience.
This can mean taking your child to festivals, traditional ceremonies, exhibits, storytellers and others. Some adults believe that children become confused if they are exposed to events which are not shared by their family traditions and norms. Research indicates that exposing your child to different ways of life, experiences, traditions and religious and spiritual beliefs does not compromise the family norms but instead enhances the child’s ability to put differences they encounter into a context.

Don’t make or share assumptions based on media or isolated experiences alone.
Often the images that we see on TV and through paper media are biased or only give one side of a story. Traditionally, the "good guy" is white and the "bad guy" is black. This carries over into much of the language that we use daily and into the "slang" or "sayings" that we use as our "normal" speech. It is important to question the history, the relevance and the intent when we are using words or phrases that have "just been around forever".

Practice talking and explaining cultural characteristics and answers to your child.
The higher comfort level you have as a parent when issues or questions arise, the more "typical" the issues become and more dialogue is possible. There is power in hearing yourself explain the answer to a difficult question.

Developed by Tammi S. Paul Bryant, Linn-Benton Community College. Copy and distribution of this document in its entirety is granted for educational purposes.